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5. Males Pressuring Males – A lot of our male respondents mentioned that the stress males felt from different males was big, when and in the event that they had been to return out and admit that they had been brazenly non secular. It’s one of many key causes many males stored their spirituality quiet and near their chest. Many mentioned that there’s an innate competitiveness between males that shamed them into feeling ‘lower than’ and defensive for not sharing the mainstream excellent of what it’s to be ‘masculine’. And but, many ladies (in addition to myself) mentioned that we discovered it extraordinarily masculine when a person can brazenly share his emotions and specific his spirituality. Males mentioned that they’ve issue opening up when different males are round, as they have a tendency to really feel that they’ll be judged or put down. Whereas, they felt safer opening up in entrance of girls who could be extra accepting of them. Though there have been some males, who mentioned ladies had been judgemental too and had concepts that non secular males could be ‘too gentle’. Of specific be aware amongst our male respondents, is that they mentioned it was widespread for males to imagine that one other man is ‘effeminate’ when he exhibits or shares his non secular facet – seeing spirituality, as being ‘female’, fairly than ‘masculine’.
6. Spirituality Seen as ‘Not Masculine’ – A lot of our male respondents agreed that males (and ladies) noticed spirituality as a female high quality and one which diminished their masculinity not directly. This utilized added weight to the rationale why males had been reluctant to brazenly share their views and experiences in non secular discussions, as they feared their gender would come into query. Certainly, it’s so vital that we perceive that being open to your non secular fact has nothing to do with gender (that polarises it means an excessive amount of). Spirituality is our widespread supply and isn’t gender primarily based. Sure, we will specific our spirituality by the lens of femininity and/or masculinity. Every of us has entry to each of those vitality flows. One just isn’t higher than the opposite. One just isn’t extra non secular. Each mix to create the entire. Certainly, the extra that we will see extra males brazenly sharing their spirituality whereas sustaining who they’re, of their integrity and authenticity, the larger permission it offers for all males to do the identical and for ladies to additionally observe go well with.
7. Mixing Science and Spirituality – One other nice level from our respondents was that some males view spirituality by the lens of science. They see science because the important hall by which the non secular dimension could be quantified and touched, thereby making spirituality extra accessible and acceptable to all. And thus, these males don’t are inclined to share their views from a non secular ‘subjective and private’ standpoint, however extra from a structured, outcomes and proof primarily based perspective.
8. Male Non secular Leaders Dominating – Most of the respondents (women and men alike) had the same expertise the place males that they had come throughout in non secular teams or boards would attempt to take over – or tackle a management position, not lengthy after becoming a member of. Specifically, this could occur with males who might have been ‘new’ to the non secular path, however felt that they ‘knew every little thing’ after solely a short while of being uncovered to non secular ideas and views. This was ‘off-putting’ to many real males (on their path for a few years) who attended non secular teams, courses or workshops as a way to contribute, develop and be taught. They had been really ‘embarrassed’ by some males attempting to take over and dominate discussions and teachings, so quickly after becoming a member of a bunch. They mentioned that is what put them off from sharing an excessive amount of about their non secular path publicly, as they didn’t need to be judged, as one among ‘these domineering males’, who attempt to take over – significantly when there’s a predominantly feminine viewers in attendance.
9. Males Feeling Safer to Categorical in Teams – Most of the males who responded to my publish additionally mentioned that they felt safer opening up in group conditions that they had been accustomed to, fairly then doing so (maybe in a extra random means) on-line. Whereas ladies, discovered a standard bond by sharing (maybe to these they don’t even know). Males appeared to be a lot extra cautious, preferring to maintain quiet, till they felt they had been secure from judgment or recrimination. Once more, this seems to be as a result of they don’t need to be judged or pressurised by different males and/or ladies.
10. Non secular Males and Ulterior Motives – A well-liked response was the variety of situations that males (and ladies) skilled the place males who had been brazenly ‘non secular’ or maybe even ‘non secular lecturers’ had been abusing their positions of belief. Many mentioned that males they’ve come throughout in non secular courses or retreats had been solely there to meet ladies, who they discovered to be straightforward targets – in search of their soul mates or non secular males who understood them. Certainly, I’ve seen this occur with some males that I’ve met in non secular teams and I’ve heard it occurring (rather a lot) with ladies I’ve labored with in private periods. Many ladies have begun a relationship with their male non secular trainer, which has been complicated to them. I’ve all the time thought that males ‘specifically’ should have nice integrity if they’re to be a non secular trainer, as a result of with so many ladies on this subject open, trusting and in search of males to narrate to on a soulful foundation, one should all the time be – above reproach.
11. Dropping Contact with Associates When Coming Out as Non secular – And at last, the opposite widespread theme amongst many male respondents was that they discovered the non secular path a lonely one, as soon as their pals or colleagues knew about their non secular path. Many felt unhappy or upset that when their pals and/or household knew extra about who they’re that they not needed to be round them. They slowly noticed folks from their previous transfer away and lose contact. And on the flip facet of this, some males mentioned that they had been really grateful that that they had been open and sincere about who they’re and what they observe, because it meant they not needed to play a charade and affiliate with folks they not resonated with. So, it could possibly go each methods.
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