I’m sat right here reflecting on the occasions of the previous week. I try this loads – reflecting. It might at instances be fairly nice, a pleasant replay of the good things. However different instances it might probably encourage my unhealthy habits – overthinking overanalysing, overwhelm. Therefore the title of this publish. As a result of I do marvel loads, it’s the affliction of a wandering thoughts. I ponder about what might need been, what I might have completed higher, what individuals would possibly say, what I’d say to individuals if I opened up in particular person as a lot as I do once I write.
After I’m feeling optimistic I prefer to assume that this wonderment aids my creativity, it brings out the wackiness in me, the power to look past the norm, to encourage me to query and spot the whole lot. And I LOVE that about me. After I’m feeling destructive nonetheless, I realise the hinderance it brings. The way it holds me again from being my true self, the way it limits my self-belief, chokes my self acceptance, and restricts my rationality.
What I’ve learnt all through this journey of attempting to determine what the hell my thoughts is all about, is that it’s so vital for me to maintain writing. It’s actually my saviour. If doubtful, write it out is my new motto. Bit wanky I do know, however no matter works I say!
So yeah, that’s the deep stuff out of the way in which. I get that these mind dumps, wandering thoughts witterings, vacuous thought vomits, no matter you wish to name them are for essentially the most half self-indulgent. I get that hardly anybody goes to learn them, not to mention stick round for one more instalment. And that’s high-quality. These are for me. My remedy. My outlet. My manner of coping. In case you are having fun with them although, hey there, hello. Thanks. You’re my individuals xx
Anyway, transferring on, what’s been happening over the previous week…
Covid Lastly Acquired Us
Nicely, I say ‘us’, it obtained considered one of us. My son. Not totally positive how the remainder of us prevented it. We didn’t make him isolate away from the remainder of us, though to be truthful he’s a youngster, he just about chooses to guide the isolation life-style on the each day. I can solely assume that myself and the husband dodged it from being triple vaxxed, cos I completely nonetheless obtained my bedtime head kiss and cuddle in and I vaguely keep in mind being burped at within the face in some unspecified time in the future (nice I do know!) so these covidy germs had loads of alternatives to unfold. However they didn’t. And my daughter, who’s 11, so nonetheless no jabs, and to the most effective of our information nonetheless hasn’t had covid, additionally managed to keep away from it. Go determine. Fortunately my son was high-quality. Sooner or later of feeling headachy and a temperature and that was it. What then adopted was per week of empty kitchen cabinets (apparently covid makes you extra hungry – ummm yeah proper son), little or no residence education (if the work’s not there what can ya do?), and a LOT of Xboxing (what else can an isolating teenage boy do… OK, possibly don’t reply that one!!!)
Sounds unhealthy I do know, however I used to be kinda hoping we’d all get it in order that we might get it out of the way in which in time for vacation season, simply as a type of additional security internet in the event you like. I heard on the radio that apparently there’s some occasions firm in Italy I feel it was that’s providing covid dinner events, the place you may ebook to wine and dine with somebody who has covid. Truly paying to get covid. Now, that’s unhealthy!
The hormones on this home are excessive in the meanwhile. We’ve obtained perimenopausal me, desperately slathering on the HRT, and attempting to type her month-to-month shit out. Then there’s my pubescent daughter who’s not fairly there with the intervals but, however my god they have to be imminent I’m positive of it. And what which means, is numerous outbursts, numerous tears, and a tonne of moods. I’d say I really feel sorry for the boys… however I don’t. They don’t must undergo any of this shite, so zero sympathy from me.
The poor love has been correct struggling together with her feelings of late and the truth that she will be able to’t clarify why she’s feeling the way in which she is – kinda unhappy and unmotivated and only a bit down. I imply, I hear ya lady, welcome to womanhood! After all, I used to be much more refined than that once we had a chat. Stuffed with understanding, numerous cuddles, and a few smart reassuring phrases that it’s completely regular to really feel like that and that I completely obtained it, and she will be able to at all times come to me for a chat and so forth. and so forth. It was good. We’re in a beautiful place on the mo, me and my daughter. We speak about the whole lot and he or she’s very open with me, which I like. I actually hope it continues. And maybe when her interval does truly begin, it gained’t be too lengthy earlier than we fall in synch with each other so no less than 3 out of 4 weeks each month our home can be comparatively agg free. Nicely, one can hope, proper!?!?
And To Finish… One thing To Make You Smile
And it does certainly contain a smile. I used to be out strolling the canine the opposite morning. I’m at all times very thoughtful of different individuals once I’m out with the canine. It’s normally me that strikes out of the way in which, particularly if there are children, or there’s a couple of particular person, I dunno it simply looks like the suitable factor to do. I’m well mannered like that. Anyway, I see this man up forward and begin to stroll out into the highway in order that he can keep on the pavement. It was solely as I obtained nearer that I realised he was blind – he was carrying black sun shades and had a white stick. As I handed him, reasonably than say ‘morning’, or ‘thanks’ (not that I wanted to after all, as a result of it was me that moved out of the way in which, however effectively I’m sometimes British, that’s what we do, proper!?!) I smiled. Didn’t utter a bloody phrase, which will need to have freaked the poor man out, cos he clearly knew I used to be there, from my huffing and puffing (it was up hill) and the canine brushing previous him. However no. The dickhead that I’m. I smiled. Twat. Anyway, I noticed him once more this morning and I made positive to say morning this time spherical, which made me really feel heaps higher!
I hope you loved this week’s wonderings from my ever wandering thoughts.
Within the meantime, in the event you wanna get in contact, it’s probs finest to move on over to considered one of my socials.
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Come again subsequent week for extra ideas from a wandering thoughts!
Becky Stafferton is a content material creator, full time procrastinator and mum of two children and 1 aggy cockapoo. She tries to advertise a practical, sustainable and optimistic picture of tips on how to lead a wholesome life, while additionally sustaining the truth that life ain’t all fluffy clouds and rainbows. When she’s not writing or sitting on her arse scrolling by way of social media, she will be discovered operating by way of muddy puddles, making lists of lists, having a very good outdated moan, doing random Google searches and squatting like her life is determined by it.